HARD WORK

           It's hard work going crazy
                maintaining this level of anxiety
                requires the stamina of a long distance runner
                morning comes on like a warring blender
           dicing up the ugly parts
           you'd hoped were behind you
              already breathless
                   you hit the ground
                     backtracking on the sandpaper

           When you're younger
                you rip your shirt open
                        in crowded places
                and say "look at my madness"
              but after years on the job
                you start wearing baggy clothes 
                        and you avoid doing public
                because strangers
                        haven't heard your excuses
              so it becomes a proud secret
                     like making large
                        anonymous donations to science


           When your beeper goes off
                no one else can hear it
                        and you can't shut it off
                        because the manual is in Japanese


                It's hard work going crazy
           and it's kinda hard to handle
                without a little outside help
           but when you've handled it so long
                you become reluctant to share


           Still


           I go to the Cafe Babar for pointers
                that's where the real pros hang out
                they write real poems like Thorizine
                        or skip their lithium
                and illustrate the finer points of
                method madness
         you see
                they're all clever enough
           to still be on the loose
                they all know
         that outpatients have more fun